—For my aunt Azadeh who I lost to cancer on a
lonely Wednesday.
leaving behind a lineage of absolute risk
خاطراتِ درهم پیچ و بی‌‌پژواک
a sweaty night that echoes you’re the cry of every cell
تا تمامیِ حفره‌های
تهاجمی ذهن‌ات
open to a pain-excruciating chronic void
من به انزوای تو در قعر
خودم وابسته‌ام
yet you are the farthest as a lump’s growing in my words
در شک یک
"آن" که نکند تو بیمار باشی و این سلول‌های نکبتِ سرطانی
we do metamorphosize into a stranger of ourselves
و غریب می‌مانیم در
هجوم (نکند هرگز) نبودن‌ات
a metastasis growth when you grow smaller day by day
تا خالیِ نبودن‌ات
سنگین‌ترین حضور جهان شود
yet tumors can sir, yes sir: she is fully aware!
چه بهانه‌ای برای
تراشیدن شرابیِ موهای ات
we are treating death in an ironic way
به آنی نزدیک می‌شود در
ارتعاش محوی از زنده نماندنمان
And we leave behind the trauma of being witnesses
Saba Pakdel is a poet, migration literature scholar, and PhD candidate in English at the University of Victoria. She specializes in migration study and climate-induced mobility with a focus on modern and contemporary literature, exploring the experience of exile, displacement, and climate crises. Saba has published two poetry chapbooks In-Between (2022) and Un-Composed (2024) by above / ground press.
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